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Brlj sekcija

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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  =Charok= on Sat May 14, 2011 2:23 am

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Eto, pa vi vidite sta cete s ovim (a.k.a. I'll just leave this here, shall I?)

Post  Guest on Sat May 14, 2011 10:11 am

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Upozorenje! Ici na WC pre citanja ukoliko ne zelite baricu ispred kompjutera.

Post  Guest on Sat May 14, 2011 11:26 am

56 worst/best analogies of high school students!, page 1


Some of these analogies had me in stitches - proper laughing tears were streaming! Yes - I am easily amused!
Enjoy!

Apparently the washingtonpost held a contest in which high school teachers sent in the “worst” analogies they’d encountered in grading their students’ papers over the years. (I place “worst” in quotes because many of these actually strike me as quite witty). The top 25 of these have been circulating around the “Sandra Bullock” (”net”, get it?) recently, but I decided to post all 56 that I was able to find. Here they are, in their order of objective funniness (in my opinion):

1.Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2.He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3.Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

4.From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on
vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5.John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6.She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7.The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

8.He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

9.Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

10.She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

11.The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

12.The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.

13.McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

14.His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

15.He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at asolar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

16.Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

17.Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

18.The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

19.Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

20.The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

21.They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

22.He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

23.Even in his last years, Grand pappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

24,He felt like he was being hunted down like a dog, in a place that hunts dogs, I suppose.

25.She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.

26.She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

27.The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

28.The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

29.“Oh, Jason, take me!” she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.

30.It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

31.It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

32.He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

33,The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

34.Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

35.Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like “Second Tall Man.”

36.The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

37.The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

38.She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

39.Her pants fit her like a glove, well, maybe more like a mitten, actually.

40.Fishing is like waiting for something that does not happen very often.

41.They were as good friends as the people on “Friends.”

42.Oooo, he smells bad, she thought, as bad as Calvin Klein’s Obsession would smell if it were called Enema and was made from spoiled Spamburgers instead of natural floral fragrances.

43.The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.

44.He was as bald as one of the Three Stooges, either Curly or Larry, you know, the one who goes woo woo woo.

45.The sardines were packed as tight as the coach section of a 747.

46.Her eyes were shining like two marbles that someone dropped in mucus and then held up to catch the light.

47.The baseball player stepped out of the box and spit like a fountain statue of a Greek god that scratches itself a lot and spits brown, rusty tobacco water and refuses to sign autographs for all the little Greek kids unless they pay him lots of drachmas.

48.I felt a nameless dread. Well, there probably is a long German name for it, like Geschpooklichkeit or something, but I don’t speak German. Anyway, it’s a dread that nobody knows the name for, like those little square plastic gizmos that close your bread bags. I don’t know the name for those either.

49.She was as unhappy as when someone puts your cake out in the rain, and all the sweet green icing flows down and then you lose the recipe, and on top of that you can’t sing worth a damn.

50.Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.

51.It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.

52.Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.comaaakk/ch@ung but gets T:flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.

53.You know how in “Rocky” he prepares for the fight by punching sides of raw beef? Well, yesterday it was as cold as that meat locker he was in.

54.The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.

55.Her lips were red and full, like tubes of blood drawn by an inattentive phlebotomist.

56.The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10 percent cyan, 10 percent magenta, 60 percent yellow and 10 percent black.
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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  .kiloByte on Sat May 14, 2011 1:35 pm



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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  KiiRiiK on Sat May 14, 2011 11:41 pm


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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  =Charok= on Sun May 15, 2011 11:02 am


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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  =Charok= on Sun May 15, 2011 10:23 pm

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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  Guest on Sun May 15, 2011 11:36 pm

Au jebote!

Znaci Borise, tzare tvoj brlj-fu je nenadmasan! Fak mi sajdvejz!

Jujuju! Mecke i vijetnamska svinja cuvaju vutru. Pa ovo ko da je forchan smislj'o. A ovaj sto slusa Polumentu a sake mu ko lopate (hrnk!)....cccc.... krv ti jebem ispljuv'o sam tastaturu!

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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  Putujuci Djindas on Mon May 16, 2011 8:32 pm

sunce ti jebem...

Shocked Shocked Shocked
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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  Maxa on Mon May 16, 2011 8:56 pm

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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  KiiRiiK on Tue May 17, 2011 2:00 am

A ona budala me odvajala odvajala i odvajala Smile

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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  maya on Tue May 17, 2011 9:42 am

eh, taj ingleski ...

New Now Shocked

Rolling Eyes

Sremski Karlovci - Srem′s Dick Hunter lol!
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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  maya on Tue May 17, 2011 12:57 pm

* Al' gа lomi, k'o fićа prirubnicu.

* Zаjebаn je k'o krаtko ćebe..

* Nevinа k'o goblen.

* Vrišti k'o kаd sestrа ženi brаtа.

* Trese se k'o FAP u leru.

* Mirnа k'o rezervni točаk.

* Omаstio bi' je k'o čvаrаk tepsiju.

* Loži se k'o bаbа nа rаtluk.

* Smrdi mu u sobi k'o dа su se mufloni pаrili.

* Štа se primаš k'o bаbа nа penziju?

* Alа sisа k'o bolesnik pomorаndžu.

* Pun k'o pаmpers pelenа.

* Al' gа šmrče k'o аstmаtičаr inhаlаtor.

* Stisnuo gа k'o siromа' sаrmu.

* Propаo si k'o žeton.

* Al' si rаzbаcаn k'o đubre po njivi.

* Nemа te k'o gаćа u pornićimа.

* Štа si se zаgubio k'o Pinokio u kubik drvа.

* Cvili k'o uštipаk u tigаnju.

* Uprpio se k'o kurvа pred ispoved.

* Ućutаo se k'o krmаk u kukuruzu.

* Rаzvаlio gа k'o buldožer strаćаru.

* Isek'o se siromа' k'o burek zа ovde.

* Nаpаlio se k'o dаbаr nа metаr drvа.

* Osušio se k'o sunđer zа vreme školskog rаspustа.

* Drhti k'o zečicа nа pаrenju.

* Zinuo k'o konobаrski novčаnik.

* Nаpunio se k'o špаjz pred slаvu.

* Otekаo k'o pčelаrski priprаvnik.

* Nаvаlio k'o penzos nа šаlter.

* Rаširio se k'o petnаest do tri.

* Štа stenješ k'o jugo nа uzbrdici.
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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  Putujuci Djindas on Tue May 17, 2011 4:54 pm

Isek'o se siromа' k'o burek zа ovde...hahahaha Razz
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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  KiiRiiK on Tue May 17, 2011 6:23 pm

Mayo ALALALA TI CUFTE


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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  Guest on Tue May 17, 2011 6:26 pm

Mayo - sestro od ovog moze bre da se rikne Smile


Evo nesto za Marka Wink
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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  DoctorWho on Tue May 17, 2011 7:37 pm

ahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaqah

KAKO JE DOBRO!!!
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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  maya on Tue May 17, 2011 7:56 pm

ja sam to samo pozajmila iz jednog odlicnog bloga Smile

http://blog.b92.net/text/17930/U-rezignaciji-/#k1076536 (madjarski na cirilici Shocked)

komentari na blogu su urnebes, uzivajte Cool


Last edited by maya on Wed May 18, 2011 7:30 am; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  Maxa on Tue May 17, 2011 8:00 pm

ADMIN: Opomena. Acime, kad vec vidis ovako nesto, reaguj.
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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  =Charok= on Wed May 18, 2011 12:49 am

maya wrote:* Al' gа lomi, k'o fićа prirubnicu.

* Zаjebаn je k'o krаtko ćebe..

itd.


Prešs...

A sada, za sve ljubitelje serija Firefly i Castle, glumacki počeci Nathana Filliona:

http://www.noob.us/humor/pg-porn-nailing-your-wife/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njAC38WnQo0
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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  =Charok= on Wed May 18, 2011 7:44 pm

I jedna od Djoleta:

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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  maya on Thu May 19, 2011 9:11 am

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Re: Brlj sekcija

Post  kgkid on Thu May 19, 2011 10:43 am

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18+ ;) Duke Nudem!

Post  Guest on Thu May 19, 2011 5:33 pm

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Re: Brlj sekcija

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